allison

she smiles at me..

and when she does, i feel complete.

she's so innocent...

i love the way she laughs

it melts my heart.

i love the way she smiles at me. 

i love her touch, i love hearing her voice as she sings her favorite song...

even though she's a baby and doesn't know the words.

i love her broken language...and the way she says "go" while watching little einsteins.

i have loved this girl since she was inside of me.

i am so proud to be her mom...

there is nobody else i want to be..

but her mom, always and forever..

i love you my sweet little allison...

mommy's little one, mommy's angel

sometimes i wish i were a bird...
so i can fly to the mountains.
mountains are beautiful.
i like beautiful things.
i also like ugly things...

i love to sit in silence..
and let my thoughts escape me.

being alone is nice, but i also like being with someone.
i love being held tight, i love to dance and sing.
i love the thought of being on his mind.

i wish i were a young teenager again
when all my thoughts were easy, life was easy.

i need to release my stress..
i need to scream at the top of my lungs.

i want to be free...like a bird.

what the?

late at night i sit and wonder..
if it will ever be my time.
others have had the opportunity.
why not me?

am i not good enough?
maybe im a fool.
maybe i should stop dreaming...

or not..
because only in my dreams, i have reached that goal.
i am who i want to be in my dream.
in my dream i am invisible, happy, loved, wanted.

but not here.
here, i am a bother, pathetic loser.
a fool...

poor, poor me.
i wish i were somewhere else.
somebody else.
but i am just me. just me.
poor poor me.

i should go to bed, its very late.
i want to dream, dream my dream.
where im somebody else, somewhere else.
not me.